Conscious Dating: Finding the Love of Your Life in Today’s World
Destined to change the way single men and women view dating, relationships,
and, most importantly, themselves. It’s about making informed choices,
about saying no to what you don’t want so you can say yes to what you do
want. It’s about taking personal responsibility as the architect of your
own future and happiness. And, it’s about knowing that you really can find
the love of your life and enjoy a happy, fulfilled, and productive relationship.
Conscious Dating teaches you how to make more enlightened relationship
choices so you can enjoy the happiness you deserve. As singles, we don’t
serve ourselves well by settling for relationships that are less than we really
want. We must hold the vision we have for our life as the guiding star toward
which we walk our life’s journey.
This isn’t just another dating book filled with tired ideas about how
to “get” a man or woman. Nor does it offer manipulative or deceptive
practices that compromise who you are. In sharp contrast, Conscious Dating
offers sound guidance based upon higher principles of personal truth, integrity,
and genuine respect and love for self and others. It offers solid information
and strategies that address the complexities of today’s modern relationships.
This comprehensive guide won’t ask you to do anything that isn’t
aligned with your values. Instead, you’ll learn how your values can create
the foundation upon which you design a relationship plan that meets your personal
requirements, needs, and wants. Conscious Dating helps you dispel much
of the confusion and frustration around dating by offering you a new approach
to relationships.
David Steele guides you through three major areas that comprise the foundation
of conscious dating: who we are, what we want, and how to get what we want.
In exploring these areas through assessments, exercises, and powerful questions,
you can learn how to take a proactive role, perhaps for the first time, in making
better relationship choices. You’ll be equipped with new tools, ideas,
and principles necessary to achieve success in dating. By learning and implementing
these new strategies, you can create new and different relationship outcomes
for yourself. Working through this book is guaranteed to change the way you
view yourself and the concepts of dating and relating.
As our world grows increasingly complex, personal relationships, the basic
building blocks of our society, seem to suffer more. As social beings, we need
a strong community, extended family, close friends, and intact marriages and
families. Previous generations inherited their family and community ties from
their parents. But in today’s world most of us need to intentionally create
these supportive relationships for ourselves. First you have the world you are
born into, and then you have the life that you choose. This book will help you
choose more consciously, wisely, and effectively.
You are not alone. Today, there are more single people than ever in history:
101 million singles in the U.S., 46% of the population. The vast majority of
singles desire a committed relationship, but the rules of dating and mating
have changed, and we’re left to learn the new rules by trial and error.
Our continued high divorce rate suggests that this process is painful, ineffective,
and costly.
One unfortunate holdover from the past is a continued stigma about singles
being selfish, failures, inadequate, immature, unwanted and/or unlovable. When
that stigma converges with impatience and a desire for immediate gratification--
unfortunate characteristics of today’s culture--many singles start out
believing that getting into a relationship is the path to happiness and that
the term “successful single” is an oxymoron. Typically, after experiencing
failure many singles become confused about how to make relationships work. They
may hesitate to trust themselves and others and fear commitment. Unsatisfying
and painful experiences breed discouragement and defensiveness, and this intensifies
fear of intimacy and creates barriers to having the relationships we really
want.
Single and married, young and old, we all want the same thing: to love and
be loved. We all have our strengths and challenges, dreams and fears. We all
have the ability to learn and to choose. On the other hand, each of us is unique,
and what worked for others won’t necessarily work for you. Today, a whole
new world begins, and you are the pioneer of your own life. You can learn from
those who went before you, but you can, and must, still find your own unique
way.
The good news is that you have many choices. Because we are not bound by the
traditions of the past, we are free to have the life and relationships we really
want. You’ve heard this before, but it bears repeating: with freedom comes
responsibility. There is no quick fix, and you cannot rely on anything or anyone
else to make your life and relationships work for you. I hope to support you
in meeting this challenge and to help you learn how to consciously create what
you really want and deeply need in your life.
Growing up in a single parent family David had no one to show him how to get
what he wanted in his life and relationships, and he had to learn by trial and
error. He wanted his first marriage to last forever, and one of his hardest
life lessons was that a relationship requires two committed adults, and that
desperate, heroic intentions and efforts can't “make” a marriage work.
When his second marriage ended as well, he was devastated, humbled, ashamed,
and discouraged about ever having a life partnership. In this painful trial
and error process, David learned necessary lessons about himself, life, and
relationships that helped prepare him for, and finally find, the love of his
life.
During his personal journey and in his professional work, David learned that
being single is truly an opportunity to create the life that you really want,
to prepare for, and to find the relationship that you really want. His hope
is that this book will help you recognize this opportunity and take full advantage
of it. As your guide, he will help you avoid the many pitfalls and traps that
can hold you back, and you will discover effective tools and information you
can use to find the love of your life and the life that you love.
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